It's being seated in front of signs like this that freak me out.

It’s being seated in front of signs like this that freak me out.

1. You could at least warm your hands up…

2. Is there really any point to putting a towel over my chest when you’ve already felt both my boobs?

3. Is it wrong to be excited that being admitted to hospital means I have an entire day where I won’t have to do a single thing but watch tv and read magazines… oh, and have surgery of course…

4. Could I pay you more to keep me overnight so I don’t have to go home to the kids?

(Filling out the hospital admission forms)

5. Wow. Reading all these diseases/injuries/history of illness… I’m actually really healthy.

6. Question: Have I lost weight recently without even trying? Umm… is there a magic diet pill I’m not aware of?? Umm… I wish??

7. Weight… Are you going to hold me to this? Will this determine the amount of anaesthetic I get? Or can I put the best weight I’ve had over the last week?

8. Ok, so you’ve asked if I drink… is this a joke? I have kids.

9. Do you have a responsible adult to stay with you when you go home… Define responsible…

(Waiting to go into surgery)

10. So are hospital robes like hotel robes? Can you take them? This one’s quite warm and comfy…

11. Why didn’t I wear nicer knickers…

12. Do you think people wear make up for surgery? I’m certainly not one of those people…

13. I wonder what they talk about when you’re under?

14. Do you think they put some people under, purely so they don’t have to talk to you?

15. I wonder if part of the appeal for many surgeons is that their patients can’t talk to them…

16. Do people ‘talk in their sleep’ while they’re under? I wonder what they say…

(In recovery)

17. Do whatever, just let me sleep.

18. Do I have to go home? Your sheets are clean. You bring me breakfast in bed. Remind me again, why should I go home?

19. When you say the tea/coffee/biscuits are unlimited… How much can I really eat? I mean, I haven’t eaten in 24 hours… so…

20. I have to go home now?? Really? If I say, “please” will you let me stay?

Written by Nadia

4 Comments

Gabrielle

If it is any consolation, I had the exact same thoughts when I had day surgery recently. Ahhhh…the bliss of peaceful slumber (albeit drug induced!), tea and toast on tap, and people who are genuinely concerned about how YOU feel….I’d do it all again, given half a chance!

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Leanne

Bahaha…thanks for that. I had similiar thoughts when I had surgery last year. Hehe…I was looking forward to being put to sleep as I was so tired and loved the time to myself. Also didn’t want to go home ūüėČ Hoping you are well.

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nadiamc

I am much better now, thank you. Still very sore though. They kept joking in the theatre that they’d give me a good rest LOL – lots of drugs!

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